Cockles, Curry & Other Cuisine
Swansea, being a City that can only be seen on the world map during leap years, we have
only just caught up with the rest of the world by having Ronald McGingerBollocks Donald
and Colonel Cuntbeards's KFC installed next to public toilets in every corner of town. So, unsuprisingly perhaps, Swansea is home to all manner of weird shit that locals refer to
as 'food'.'

This page aims to introduce you to cuisine that maybe unique to the area and also things local people do with food and how they consume food. This page will also contain some reviews of local eateries so if you have a review of 'Unhygenic Dai's' greasy spoon or Sinbads grill, then email to me or post it on one of the messageboards.

Index
Cockles, Laverbread & other local delicacies
The Curry Crawl
Restaurants, Cafe's, Burger Vans & other places that serve food reviews

Common cockles are marine gastropoidical invertebrates (Cockleus Snobocus Snotticus). They are usually harvested in coastal areas where the local inhabitants have nothing else to eat.

Being considered a delicacy in such places as Korea and Nepal has pushed the price of the comman cockle up to such a level that the usual consumer has had to resort to eating the next best thing....white dogshit.

The financial incentive for cockle gatherers is such now that frequent bloodthirsty battles break out on the beaches near Crofty and Ferryside.

The situation has calmed somewhat since last December when Penclawdd Parish Council hired 12 Chechnyan Mercenaries to protect the valuable sacks of freshly snared shellfish from marauding cocklesnachers.

WHITE DOGSHIT Preferred by most Pencys as an alternative protein source, 175 calories per serving. 450 calories per dumpshot.

Laverbread was originally made from the cooled embers of the 16th great Penclawdd volcano eruption but Nero, deciding that he actually liked the shit, used all his godly powers to enable the donks to make laverbread out of the weed of the sea and thus this trend has continued to the modern day.

Lavebread can be found in Swansea Market (and most Swansea toilets most probably) and though I have never tried it (yet) is supposed to be quite nice. It normally appears alongside cockles in a traditional Welsh breakfast but Slipon has it on toast.